Divorce 101: how to avoid a public and bitter divorce battle

Divorce 101: how to avoid a public and bitter divorce battle

Divorce 101: How To Avoid A Public And Bitter Divorce Battle

The breakup of a marriage or civil partnership is about much more than a relationship coming to an end. Divorce and dissolution are when two lives, which up until this point have been tangled together, now need to be carefully unpicked and separated.

Who will be the primary carer for the children? What will happen to the family home? How will the family business work? All of these questions and more have to be dealt with so that both parties are able to move on with their lives.

Fortunately, if you and your spouse are unable to agree on some (or all) of these issues, help is at hand in the form of various alternative dispute resolution methods.

Mediation – someone neutral to aid your discussions

When emotions are running high, it’s all too easy to find yourself having the same arguments every time you meet your spouse to discuss your future. Mediation – where an independent third party is there to help you and your spouse work towards reaching an agreement about everything from childcare to your financial settlement – is one way to try to avoid an expensive and lengthy court case. Indeed, most couples will have to attend an initial mediation meeting known as a MIAM (Mediation Information & Assessment Meeting) before heading to Court.

Collaborative law – working together with your solicitors

Another way to attempt to resolve your issues is for you, your spouse and your respective solicitors to meet to try to work together to reach an agreement. Just like mediation, these “four-way meetings” can be a good way for both parties to have their say and hopefully work more collaboratively (compared to being on opposite sides in Court) in order to reach a solution.

Court proceedings are sometimes necessary

If you and your spouse are unable to reach an agreement, Court may be the only option. Normally, it should be viewed as a last resort, as court proceedings can be time-consuming and costly.

Going to Court may also be necessary in certain circumstances, such as if there is domestic violence or if there is an international element to your divorce and time is of the essence.

It is always possible to negotiate alongside Court proceedings.

It is highly advisable to seek independent legal advice specific to your situation before making a decision on whether to head straight to Court or to try alternative dispute resolution methods first. Get in touch with us to book your free initial consultation with one of our experienced family solicitors.

Neil Graham, a Partner at Grayfords says:  “Attempting to resolve issues without going to Court should always be a priority, not just because it is likely to avoid the financial and emotional costs of going to Court but also because people generally feel more positive about solutions in which they have had a hand themselves or in which they feel that their voice has been heard as part of that resolution process.  However, alternative means of trying to resolve issues first outside Court are not always suitable if, for example, there are concerns over financial disclosure or a fundamental welfare issue and in some cases can even place you at a disadvantage when the legal arguments in your case are subsequently advanced.  We always aim to deal with cases in a consensual and conciliatory way but we are also experts in our field in knowing when and how to fight your case in Court”.    

This article was written by Lauren Howells and Neil Graham.

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Regular Catch-up Strategies


At Grayfords, we understand the importance of developing effective strategies to achieve the desired outcomes for our clients in family law and private client law matters. That's why we prioritise regular catch-up strategies to ensure that your case is handled efficiently and aligned with your goals. 

As experienced family and private client lawyers, and strategy experts, we recognise that every case is unique and requires a tailored approach. Through regular catch-up sessions, we engage in open and collaborative discussions with our clients to gain a thorough understanding of their objectives, concerns, and preferences. These ‘catch-ups’ allow us to assess the progress of your case, identify any evolving needs or challenges, and adjust our strategies accordingly. We are also then able to put in place any personal support our clients may need should they wish to avail themselves of our coaching and therapy & mental health services at any point during their legal matter.

By maintaining regular communication, we can provide you with updates on the status of your case, share important information, and address any questions or concerns you may have. This proactive approach ensures that you are actively involved in the decision-making process and empowers you to make informed choices throughout the legal proceedings. 

Our aim is to ensure that your case is being handled in the most efficient and effective way possible. Through our regular catch-up strategies, we can evaluate the success of our current strategies, make necessary adjustments, and optimise our approach to maximise the chances of achieving a favourable outcome for you. 

At Grayfords, we value your input and understand that your goals are essential to the success of your case. Our commitment to regular catch-up strategies reflects our dedication to providing personalised and client-centered legal services. By working together, we can create a strong partnership and develop strategies that align with your vision and aspirations. 

Strategic Partnerships​


At Grayfords, we believe in the power of strategic partnerships to enhance the quality and efficiency of our legal services. We understand that legal matters often require expertise in various specialised areas, and that's why we have established strong relationships with trusted and renowned specialists in both family law, private client law, and therapy and mental health support.

Our strategic partnerships enable us to provide a streamlined and comprehensive legal service to our clients. When your case requires consultation or assistance in specific areas of the law, we have the resources and connections to quickly and efficiently engage the right experts. 

Whether it's a complex family law issue or a multifaceted private client law matter, our network of trusted specialists allows us to draw upon their knowledge and experience to provide the best possible advice and representation for our clients. These partnerships ensure that we can offer comprehensive solutions that address all aspects of your case, providing you with a holistic approach to your legal (and personal) needs. 

By collaborating with specialists in various legal fields, we can navigate intricate legal challenges more effectively, saving you time, effort, and potential complications. Our commitment to strategic partnerships means that we stay informed about the latest developments in family law and private client law, ensuring that our advice and strategies are up-to-date and relevant. 

At Grayfords, we value the importance of offering a well-rounded legal service to our clients. Our strategic partnerships enable us to tap into a wealth of expertise and resources, ultimately enhancing the quality and effectiveness of our services. You can trust that we have the necessary connections to consult with specialists whenever needed, ensuring that every aspect of your case is addressed with proficiency and efficiency while also supporting you on a personal level as needed.

Time for you


At Grayfords, we understand the value of time, and we prioritise our clients by ensuring that they receive the attention and support they need throughout their legal journey. Unlike other family law and firms, we never claim to be too busy for our clients. We believe that effective communication is essential, and our team is always accessible and responsive to your needs.

Whether you have a question, or concern, or need an update on your case, our dedicated team of family law and private client law experts will be readily available to assist you. We go the extra mile to ensure that you can reach us conveniently and promptly. You can count on us to answer your calls or reply to your messages on platforms like WhatsApp, enabling efficient and effective communication.

Our commitment to internal collaboration and dynamism ensures that there is always someone available to address your family law or private client law case. We understand that legal matters can be time-sensitive, and we strive to provide timely and accurate advice. You can rely on our team's collective knowledge and expertise to guide you through the complexities of family law and private client law.

At Grayfords, we recognise that your time is valuable, and we respect that by being responsive, accessible, and dedicated to your case. We prioritise open and transparent communication, keeping you informed and involved every step of the way. You can trust that we will dedicate the necessary time and attention to your legal matters, ensuring that you feel supported and well taken care of.

Specialised Service


At Grayfords, we offer a specialised range of services across both family law and private client law, tailored to meet the unique needs of our clients. With a focus on honesty, empathy, and pragmatism, we provide reliable legal advice that is designed to help our clients achieve success in their legal matters. 

In the realm of family law, we understand the emotional challenges that can arise during sensitive family disputes. Our team of experienced family law solicitors provides compassionate support and guidance throughout the process. Whether you are going through a divorce, child custody battle, or dealing with complex property division, we have the expertise to navigate these intricate matters while prioritising your best interests. 

In the field of private client law, we recognise the complexities and demands that business owners and HNWIs face in today's dynamic marketplace. Our private client law services encompass a wide range of areas including wealth planning, asset management, trusts, wills, probate, and lasting powers of attorney. We aim to be your trusted legal partner, offering strategic advice and solutions that align with your commercial objectives as you navigate your family matter. 

At Grayfords, we believe in fostering long-term exceptional working relationships with our clients. Our dedicated team goes above and beyond to understand your unique circumstances and provide tailored legal solutions that anticipate your individual needs. We pride ourselves on delivering an outstanding personal service level, ensuring that you feel supported and informed throughout your legal journey.  

Our ultimate goal is to alleviate the pressure and stress often associated with legal matters. We are committed to guiding you through the complexities of family law and private client law, allowing you to focus on what matters most to you. Trust Grayfords to provide you with the specialised legal services you deserve, backed by our expertise, integrity, and dedication to your success.