Divorce Fact Check: we bust some of the most common divorce myths

Divorce Fact Check: we bust some of the most common divorce myths

Divorce Fact Check: We Bust Some Of The Most Common Divorce Myths

The media is full of incorrect information about divorce and the public is seriously misled about the realities of the divorce process.  This article seeks to bust some of those myths, and make sure you’re armed with the correct information and avoid the media hype.

Myth 1: Divorce takes a matter of seconds for celebrities

We all know the old stories: “Sports star and model wife get ‘quickie’ divorce”, “famous actress and her husband get a divorce in 40 seconds at London’s High Court”.  Why do these stars get these super-fast divorces and how can us mere mortals get them too? The simple truth is that they don’t exist. The stars have to abide by the same marriage and divorce formalities as the rest of us.  The ’40 seconds’ quoted in countless tabloid articles actually refer to the pronouncement of Decree Nisi.  This is done by a District Judge and he or she will read out the names of dozens of couples and pronounce that their applications for Decree Nisi are accepted.  But they’re not divorce!  Far from it – the Decree Nisi is the penultimate stage in the divorce process but most of the couples will attempt to agree finances before moving to the final stage, Decree Absolute, and this can take many, many moths.  Those who aren’t dealing with finances won’t be able to proceed to Decree Absolute for another six weeks and one day (a ‘cooling off’ period and a relic of past divorce law).  So don’t believe the newspaper hype – no one is getting divorced in 40 seconds!

Myth 2: Ok, so if they’re not getting divorced in 40 seconds then what about all these quickie divorces?

We’d all like to get things over and done with quickly and move on with our lives.  Well, the quickie is another newspaper fabrication.  With the exception of life of death situations every divorce goes through the same process and, notwithstanding any delays for finances to be settled,  should take the exact same amount of time as any other divorce filed on the same day at the same court – celebrity couple or not.  What really affects how long a divorce takes is the court’s workload and the issues involved in the divorce.  Winter and summer are notoriously slow-going for courts due to spikes in the number of divorces they process and staffing levels.  Those in the public eye are also more likely to have a pre-nuptial agreement and a plan in place for settling finances out of court and can therefore avoid any delays caused by finance proceedings.  And who can blame them?  Former Oasis frontman Liam Gallagher and his All Saints wife Nicole Appleton have recently been in the news for the £800k legal bill they ran up sorting out their finances in court. http://www.theguardian.com/music/2015/dec/18/liam-gallagher-nicole-appleton-divorce-case-legal-bill

Myth 3: We can’t get a divorce until the plans for the children are sorted out

Not true!  As of April 2014, the procedures relating to divorce and child arrangements have been completely separated.  Form D8, the divorce petition, does ask about children of the family – their names and ages – but this is for the purpose of gathering statistics and does not have any impact on the divorce.  If you need the court’s help in relation to child arrangements – that is, where the children live and with whom they spend time – you need to make a separate application under the Children Act 1989 and this can be done at any time before, during or after the divorce.

Myth 4: We both agree on splitting up so we’ll just get an annulment instead

You probably won’t.  There are very specific circumstances in which an annulment is appropriate.  Annulment is very rare and if you think it might apply to you, seek professional legal advice.  If you apply for an annulment and get it wrong you may have to reapply for a divorce – and this means two sets of fees.  Take a look at our annulments page to find out more: http://www.grayfords.co.uk/annulment/

Myth 5: If we’re in agreement and everything is amicable surely we can just use one solicitor and save some money

Sadly this is not the case.  More and more couples are ‘happily divorce’, that is, they know the marriage is over and they want to work together to end it as quickly and painlessly as possible.  Even where there is no dispute between the couple, a solicitor cannot act for both of them in case there is a dispute further down the line.  Even if you know there will be no dispute, it is out of the solicitor’s hands – our professional rules say we just can’t represent both parties in a divorce. This doesn’t mean two sets of solicitors’ bills though.  There is no obligation for both of you to have a solicitor and we frequently write directly to our client’s spouses where they represent themselves and are known as ‘Litigants in Person’.  Do beware though, if things start to get complicated or acrimonious, the Litigant in Person may be better to take on their own solicitor.

We hope this article has been helpful and has cleared up some of the most common misconceptions around divorce for you.  If there are any other aspects of divorce you’d to know more about then let us know in the comments?  Any more myths you’d like us to bust – let us know or call us at 020 7100 6100.

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Regular Catch-up Strategies


At Grayfords, we understand the importance of developing effective strategies to achieve the desired outcomes for our clients in family law and private client law matters. That's why we prioritise regular catch-up strategies to ensure that your case is handled efficiently and aligned with your goals. 

As experienced family and private client lawyers, and strategy experts, we recognise that every case is unique and requires a tailored approach. Through regular catch-up sessions, we engage in open and collaborative discussions with our clients to gain a thorough understanding of their objectives, concerns, and preferences. These ‘catch-ups’ allow us to assess the progress of your case, identify any evolving needs or challenges, and adjust our strategies accordingly. We are also then able to put in place any personal support our clients may need should they wish to avail themselves of our coaching and therapy & mental health services at any point during their legal matter.

By maintaining regular communication, we can provide you with updates on the status of your case, share important information, and address any questions or concerns you may have. This proactive approach ensures that you are actively involved in the decision-making process and empowers you to make informed choices throughout the legal proceedings. 

Our aim is to ensure that your case is being handled in the most efficient and effective way possible. Through our regular catch-up strategies, we can evaluate the success of our current strategies, make necessary adjustments, and optimise our approach to maximise the chances of achieving a favourable outcome for you. 

At Grayfords, we value your input and understand that your goals are essential to the success of your case. Our commitment to regular catch-up strategies reflects our dedication to providing personalised and client-centered legal services. By working together, we can create a strong partnership and develop strategies that align with your vision and aspirations. 

Strategic Partnerships​


At Grayfords, we believe in the power of strategic partnerships to enhance the quality and efficiency of our legal services. We understand that legal matters often require expertise in various specialised areas, and that's why we have established strong relationships with trusted and renowned specialists in both family law, private client law, and therapy and mental health support.

Our strategic partnerships enable us to provide a streamlined and comprehensive legal service to our clients. When your case requires consultation or assistance in specific areas of the law, we have the resources and connections to quickly and efficiently engage the right experts. 

Whether it's a complex family law issue or a multifaceted private client law matter, our network of trusted specialists allows us to draw upon their knowledge and experience to provide the best possible advice and representation for our clients. These partnerships ensure that we can offer comprehensive solutions that address all aspects of your case, providing you with a holistic approach to your legal (and personal) needs. 

By collaborating with specialists in various legal fields, we can navigate intricate legal challenges more effectively, saving you time, effort, and potential complications. Our commitment to strategic partnerships means that we stay informed about the latest developments in family law and private client law, ensuring that our advice and strategies are up-to-date and relevant. 

At Grayfords, we value the importance of offering a well-rounded legal service to our clients. Our strategic partnerships enable us to tap into a wealth of expertise and resources, ultimately enhancing the quality and effectiveness of our services. You can trust that we have the necessary connections to consult with specialists whenever needed, ensuring that every aspect of your case is addressed with proficiency and efficiency while also supporting you on a personal level as needed.

Time for you


At Grayfords, we understand the value of time, and we prioritise our clients by ensuring that they receive the attention and support they need throughout their legal journey. Unlike other family law and firms, we never claim to be too busy for our clients. We believe that effective communication is essential, and our team is always accessible and responsive to your needs.

Whether you have a question, or concern, or need an update on your case, our dedicated team of family law and private client law experts will be readily available to assist you. We go the extra mile to ensure that you can reach us conveniently and promptly. You can count on us to answer your calls or reply to your messages on platforms like WhatsApp, enabling efficient and effective communication.

Our commitment to internal collaboration and dynamism ensures that there is always someone available to address your family law or private client law case. We understand that legal matters can be time-sensitive, and we strive to provide timely and accurate advice. You can rely on our team's collective knowledge and expertise to guide you through the complexities of family law and private client law.

At Grayfords, we recognise that your time is valuable, and we respect that by being responsive, accessible, and dedicated to your case. We prioritise open and transparent communication, keeping you informed and involved every step of the way. You can trust that we will dedicate the necessary time and attention to your legal matters, ensuring that you feel supported and well taken care of.

Specialised Service


At Grayfords, we offer a specialised range of services across both family law and private client law, tailored to meet the unique needs of our clients. With a focus on honesty, empathy, and pragmatism, we provide reliable legal advice that is designed to help our clients achieve success in their legal matters. 

In the realm of family law, we understand the emotional challenges that can arise during sensitive family disputes. Our team of experienced family law solicitors provides compassionate support and guidance throughout the process. Whether you are going through a divorce, child custody battle, or dealing with complex property division, we have the expertise to navigate these intricate matters while prioritising your best interests. 

In the field of private client law, we recognise the complexities and demands that business owners and HNWIs face in today's dynamic marketplace. Our private client law services encompass a wide range of areas including wealth planning, asset management, trusts, wills, probate, and lasting powers of attorney. We aim to be your trusted legal partner, offering strategic advice and solutions that align with your commercial objectives as you navigate your family matter. 

At Grayfords, we believe in fostering long-term exceptional working relationships with our clients. Our dedicated team goes above and beyond to understand your unique circumstances and provide tailored legal solutions that anticipate your individual needs. We pride ourselves on delivering an outstanding personal service level, ensuring that you feel supported and informed throughout your legal journey.  

Our ultimate goal is to alleviate the pressure and stress often associated with legal matters. We are committed to guiding you through the complexities of family law and private client law, allowing you to focus on what matters most to you. Trust Grayfords to provide you with the specialised legal services you deserve, backed by our expertise, integrity, and dedication to your success.