Mother’s Day, or Mothering Sunday as it’s more traditionally known as in the UK, can be a difficult time for separated families. Here are our tips for both mums and dads to make the day easier and hopefully enjoyable for everyone.
For mums
Just like Christmas and other holidays, you’ll want to see your children on the day itself for some family time or a special treat. If you can’t be with you then treat the day as a special bit of ‘me’ time. Watch some films, spread out on the sofa and treat yourself to a box of chocolates or bag of luxury popcorn – no watching Frozen today!
Negotiate – if you really want to see the children on Mother’s Day but its part of your ex’s contact time then suggest that you swap weekends. Give them as much notice as you can.
Mother’s Day, like Valentine’s Day, is just one day. Remember that you’re a mum all year round so you can go out to celebrate with your family any day you choose.
For dads
Remember that Father’s Day is also a Sunday and may not be covered by your contact time this year – could you set up an arrangement to vary contact on two Sundays per year so you have the children for Father’s Day and your ex has the children for Mother’s Day?
Help your children pick out some flowers or a card, especially if they’re very young. Small gestures like this recognise that although you don’t have a romantic relationship anymore, you will always be joined together by your children and you respect the hard work your co-parent puts in all year round.
For both parents
The key to co-parenting successfully is communication, consideration and negotiation.
Communication: you must communicate clearly and give plenty of notice for any changes you want to make to arrangements.
Consideration: think about how what you want will affect the other parent and your child. Give and take and a little understanding go a long way to making things easier on both of you and the child(ren) involved.
Negotiation: Could you swap a day or a weekend? If you need a favour could you do one for the other parent in return? Being open to negotiation and remaining flexible will help.