How to Have a Healthy Divorce: Divorce Lawyers’ Advice

How to Have a Healthy Divorce: Divorce Lawyers’ Advice

Divorce – the word has a terrible reputation amongst couples of almost all ages. However, contrary to popular belief, this life-changing decision doesn’t always have to be one that is marred with heartbreak, betrayal, and conflict. In fact, with the right approach, separating from a partner can mark the beginning of a new chapter in life that offers an opportunity to find greater fulfilment and happiness independently. Although we know that divorce is rarely ever easy, there are certainly strategies that can help to make the process smoother. Below, we’ve outlined some tips from our family law solicitors to keep in mind so you can navigate your separation in the healthiest (and hopefully least stressful) way pos

Be Ready to Embrace Communication and Cooperation

If there is a single, most important strategy of all to highlight, then it would most probably be the use of good communication skills. Now you may be thinking that such a thing is simply no longer relevant in the case of a marriage that has broken down. However, poor communication not only tends to be a driving force behind most marital breakdowns, but it can also heavily exacerbate the divorce process itself.

If you want your divorce to cause you the least amount of hassle, then you are going to need to bite the bullet with your soon-to-be-ex-spouse and focus on having as many clear, calm, and honest conversations as possible. Coming to an agreement on things like how your assets will be divided, who is going to live where, and what child custody arrangements will be in effect after your separation is crucial to a smoother (and faster) divorce, so be prepared to explore compromise.

Such topics do of course have the potential to be highly inflammatory, so you may also need to look into having assisted discussions, such as with a mediator or a couples therapist. Mediation has a proven track record in divorce cases as being an effective way to resolve disputes without having to go down the confrontational route of courtroom proceedings. You may also find it helpful to compile a list of important subjects that you both want to discuss in your meetings to make sure that key factors are being addressed and dealt with in your transition to separated life.

Note: If you have an abusive partner or there has been a complete breakdown in communication between the two of you, then you will need to work with a competent family law solicitor as soon as possible to help you with legal negotiations instead.

Prioritise Your Children’s Wellbeing

It is no secret that divorce can be especially challenging for children, but as parents, you do have the power to significantly minimise the inevitable disruption it will cause in their lives. Research shows that children can often adapt quite well to life after a divorce within about two years, provided that the process is handled with care by keeping the following in mind:

  • Do Not Involve Them in Any Conflict: Shielding your children from any arguments or disagreements between you and your spouse is essential. Although easier said than done, this is a crucial guideline to observe as exposure to adult conflicts can lead to long-term psychological and social issues for children.
  • Break The News to Them Together: If possible, presenting a united front when telling your children about your divorce can go a long way towards helping them feel reassured in adjusting to their new lives. Aim to discuss any impending changes with them openly and honestly as this will reinforce a sense of security throughout the process.
  • Minimize The Disruption: Once things are set in action, try as best you can to maintain existing routines and to give your children ample time to adjust to any significant changes, like moving homes or altering custody arrangements. Creating as much stability for them as possible is key here.

Finally, you should remember that maintaining strong relationships with both parents post-divorce is critical for your children’s mental and emotional well-being. Of course there will be exceptions to this rule, but you should try to encourage a good connection between your children and your ex-spouse where possible as this will further support them in adjusting to their new normal.

Make Sure You Cover All Your Bases

Even with all the above kept in mind, getting a divorce can be an incredibly stressful journey to embark on from not only a practical and financial perspective but also on a mental, physical, and emotional level. You will need to make sure that you have planned things in advance to give yourself as much support and security as possible if you are going to successfully weather this major life transition. Make sure that you:

  • Look After Yourself: The importance of practicing self-compassion and self-care in dealing with divorce cannot be understated. Don’t be afraid to lean on your support networks by spending time with family, friends, or even formal support groups, to help you weather the pressures of this chapter. Try as well to stay active and to prioritise your health with good nutrition, time to yourself (when you can get it), and even re-exploring or discovering past and new hobbies that can give your mood a boost during this challenging time.
  • Think of Your Finances: The financial implications of divorce might be daunting to consider, but you will need to face these head on if you are going to set yourself up for success as a divorcee. Take the time to prepare a clear, detailed plan for how your marital assets will be divided so that you can fully assess your financial standing and budget accordingly for your lifestyle post your separation. Women in particular can face unique challenges here due to income disparities and childcare responsibilities, so make sure you take extra care to prepare for financial independence if this applies to you.
  • Seek Professional Help: From family law solicitors to financial advisors and mediators, professional guidance can make the world of difference to how you navigate your divorce, so don’t hesitate to avail yourself of these resources if you are able to. Working with a lawyer is particularly important as they will be able to ensure that the division of your marital assets, any custody arrangements, and all other logistical matters are handled equitably. You might also look to work with a skilled psychologist to help you process your emotional and mental state during this time. A seasoned counsellor can help you to identify behavioural patterns which may be at the root of why your relationship has not worked out, thus increasing your chances for greater success in future relationships.

Ultimately, the important thing to remember is that divorce does not automatically signify failure. Instead, it is an opportunity to regain control of your narrative so that you can build a life that is more aligned with what you want and who you want to become. Our expert family law solicitors at Grayfords are skilled at dealing with all areas of family law, including divorce, child custody, and complex financial settlements, and can help you to achieve the fresh start that you deserve. Don’t hesitate to call us today on 020 7100 6100 and book your free consultation to find out more about how we can help.

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Regular Catch-up Strategies


At Grayfords, we understand the importance of developing effective strategies to achieve the desired outcomes for our clients in family law and private client law matters. That's why we prioritise regular catch-up strategies to ensure that your case is handled efficiently and aligned with your goals. 

As experienced family and private client lawyers, and strategy experts, we recognise that every case is unique and requires a tailored approach. Through regular catch-up sessions, we engage in open and collaborative discussions with our clients to gain a thorough understanding of their objectives, concerns, and preferences. These ‘catch-ups’ allow us to assess the progress of your case, identify any evolving needs or challenges, and adjust our strategies accordingly. We are also then able to put in place any personal support our clients may need should they wish to avail themselves of our coaching and therapy & mental health services at any point during their legal matter.

By maintaining regular communication, we can provide you with updates on the status of your case, share important information, and address any questions or concerns you may have. This proactive approach ensures that you are actively involved in the decision-making process and empowers you to make informed choices throughout the legal proceedings. 

Our aim is to ensure that your case is being handled in the most efficient and effective way possible. Through our regular catch-up strategies, we can evaluate the success of our current strategies, make necessary adjustments, and optimise our approach to maximise the chances of achieving a favourable outcome for you. 

At Grayfords, we value your input and understand that your goals are essential to the success of your case. Our commitment to regular catch-up strategies reflects our dedication to providing personalised and client-centered legal services. By working together, we can create a strong partnership and develop strategies that align with your vision and aspirations. 

Strategic Partnerships​


At Grayfords, we believe in the power of strategic partnerships to enhance the quality and efficiency of our legal services. We understand that legal matters often require expertise in various specialised areas, and that's why we have established strong relationships with trusted and renowned specialists in both family law, private client law, and therapy and mental health support.

Our strategic partnerships enable us to provide a streamlined and comprehensive legal service to our clients. When your case requires consultation or assistance in specific areas of the law, we have the resources and connections to quickly and efficiently engage the right experts. 

Whether it's a complex family law issue or a multifaceted private client law matter, our network of trusted specialists allows us to draw upon their knowledge and experience to provide the best possible advice and representation for our clients. These partnerships ensure that we can offer comprehensive solutions that address all aspects of your case, providing you with a holistic approach to your legal (and personal) needs. 

By collaborating with specialists in various legal fields, we can navigate intricate legal challenges more effectively, saving you time, effort, and potential complications. Our commitment to strategic partnerships means that we stay informed about the latest developments in family law and private client law, ensuring that our advice and strategies are up-to-date and relevant. 

At Grayfords, we value the importance of offering a well-rounded legal service to our clients. Our strategic partnerships enable us to tap into a wealth of expertise and resources, ultimately enhancing the quality and effectiveness of our services. You can trust that we have the necessary connections to consult with specialists whenever needed, ensuring that every aspect of your case is addressed with proficiency and efficiency while also supporting you on a personal level as needed.

Time for you


At Grayfords, we understand the value of time, and we prioritise our clients by ensuring that they receive the attention and support they need throughout their legal journey. Unlike other family law and firms, we never claim to be too busy for our clients. We believe that effective communication is essential, and our team is always accessible and responsive to your needs.

Whether you have a question, or concern, or need an update on your case, our dedicated team of family law and private client law experts will be readily available to assist you. We go the extra mile to ensure that you can reach us conveniently and promptly. You can count on us to answer your calls or reply to your messages on platforms like WhatsApp, enabling efficient and effective communication.

Our commitment to internal collaboration and dynamism ensures that there is always someone available to address your family law or private client law case. We understand that legal matters can be time-sensitive, and we strive to provide timely and accurate advice. You can rely on our team's collective knowledge and expertise to guide you through the complexities of family law and private client law.

At Grayfords, we recognise that your time is valuable, and we respect that by being responsive, accessible, and dedicated to your case. We prioritise open and transparent communication, keeping you informed and involved every step of the way. You can trust that we will dedicate the necessary time and attention to your legal matters, ensuring that you feel supported and well taken care of.

Specialised Service


At Grayfords, we offer a specialised range of services across both family law and private client law, tailored to meet the unique needs of our clients. With a focus on honesty, empathy, and pragmatism, we provide reliable legal advice that is designed to help our clients achieve success in their legal matters. 

In the realm of family law, we understand the emotional challenges that can arise during sensitive family disputes. Our team of experienced family law solicitors provides compassionate support and guidance throughout the process. Whether you are going through a divorce, child custody battle, or dealing with complex property division, we have the expertise to navigate these intricate matters while prioritising your best interests. 

In the field of private client law, we recognise the complexities and demands that business owners and HNWIs face in today's dynamic marketplace. Our private client law services encompass a wide range of areas including wealth planning, asset management, trusts, wills, probate, and lasting powers of attorney. We aim to be your trusted legal partner, offering strategic advice and solutions that align with your commercial objectives as you navigate your family matter. 

At Grayfords, we believe in fostering long-term exceptional working relationships with our clients. Our dedicated team goes above and beyond to understand your unique circumstances and provide tailored legal solutions that anticipate your individual needs. We pride ourselves on delivering an outstanding personal service level, ensuring that you feel supported and informed throughout your legal journey.  

Our ultimate goal is to alleviate the pressure and stress often associated with legal matters. We are committed to guiding you through the complexities of family law and private client law, allowing you to focus on what matters most to you. Trust Grayfords to provide you with the specialised legal services you deserve, backed by our expertise, integrity, and dedication to your success.