Divorce – the word has a terrible reputation amongst couples of almost all ages. However, contrary to popular belief, this life-changing decision doesn’t always have to be one that is marred with heartbreak, betrayal, and conflict. In fact, with the right approach, separating from a partner can mark the beginning of a new chapter in life that offers an opportunity to find greater fulfilment and happiness independently. Although we know that divorce is rarely ever easy, there are certainly strategies that can help to make the process smoother. Below, we’ve outlined some tips from our family law solicitors to keep in mind so you can navigate your separation in the healthiest (and hopefully least stressful) way pos
Be Ready to Embrace Communication and Cooperation
If there is a single, most important strategy of all to highlight, then it would most probably be the use of good communication skills. Now you may be thinking that such a thing is simply no longer relevant in the case of a marriage that has broken down. However, poor communication not only tends to be a driving force behind most marital breakdowns, but it can also heavily exacerbate the divorce process itself.
If you want your divorce to cause you the least amount of hassle, then you are going to need to bite the bullet with your soon-to-be-ex-spouse and focus on having as many clear, calm, and honest conversations as possible. Coming to an agreement on things like how your assets will be divided, who is going to live where, and what child custody arrangements will be in effect after your separation is crucial to a smoother (and faster) divorce, so be prepared to explore compromise.
Such topics do of course have the potential to be highly inflammatory, so you may also need to look into having assisted discussions, such as with a mediator or a couples therapist. Mediation has a proven track record in divorce cases as being an effective way to resolve disputes without having to go down the confrontational route of courtroom proceedings. You may also find it helpful to compile a list of important subjects that you both want to discuss in your meetings to make sure that key factors are being addressed and dealt with in your transition to separated life.
Note: If you have an abusive partner or there has been a complete breakdown in communication between the two of you, then you will need to work with a competent family law solicitor as soon as possible to help you with legal negotiations instead.
Prioritise Your Children’s Wellbeing
It is no secret that divorce can be especially challenging for children, but as parents, you do have the power to significantly minimise the inevitable disruption it will cause in their lives. Research shows that children can often adapt quite well to life after a divorce within about two years, provided that the process is handled with care by keeping the following in mind:
- Do Not Involve Them in Any Conflict: Shielding your children from any arguments or disagreements between you and your spouse is essential. Although easier said than done, this is a crucial guideline to observe as exposure to adult conflicts can lead to long-term psychological and social issues for children.
- Break The News to Them Together: If possible, presenting a united front when telling your children about your divorce can go a long way towards helping them feel reassured in adjusting to their new lives. Aim to discuss any impending changes with them openly and honestly as this will reinforce a sense of security throughout the process.
- Minimize The Disruption: Once things are set in action, try as best you can to maintain existing routines and to give your children ample time to adjust to any significant changes, like moving homes or altering custody arrangements. Creating as much stability for them as possible is key here.
Finally, you should remember that maintaining strong relationships with both parents post-divorce is critical for your children’s mental and emotional well-being. Of course there will be exceptions to this rule, but you should try to encourage a good connection between your children and your ex-spouse where possible as this will further support them in adjusting to their new normal.
Make Sure You Cover All Your Bases
Even with all the above kept in mind, getting a divorce can be an incredibly stressful journey to embark on from not only a practical and financial perspective but also on a mental, physical, and emotional level. You will need to make sure that you have planned things in advance to give yourself as much support and security as possible if you are going to successfully weather this major life transition. Make sure that you:
- Look After Yourself: The importance of practicing self-compassion and self-care in dealing with divorce cannot be understated. Don’t be afraid to lean on your support networks by spending time with family, friends, or even formal support groups, to help you weather the pressures of this chapter. Try as well to stay active and to prioritise your health with good nutrition, time to yourself (when you can get it), and even re-exploring or discovering past and new hobbies that can give your mood a boost during this challenging time.
- Think of Your Finances: The financial implications of divorce might be daunting to consider, but you will need to face these head on if you are going to set yourself up for success as a divorcee. Take the time to prepare a clear, detailed plan for how your marital assets will be divided so that you can fully assess your financial standing and budget accordingly for your lifestyle post your separation. Women in particular can face unique challenges here due to income disparities and childcare responsibilities, so make sure you take extra care to prepare for financial independence if this applies to you.
- Seek Professional Help: From family law solicitors to financial advisors and mediators, professional guidance can make the world of difference to how you navigate your divorce, so don’t hesitate to avail yourself of these resources if you are able to. Working with a lawyer is particularly important as they will be able to ensure that the division of your marital assets, any custody arrangements, and all other logistical matters are handled equitably. You might also look to work with a skilled psychologist to help you process your emotional and mental state during this time. A seasoned counsellor can help you to identify behavioural patterns which may be at the root of why your relationship has not worked out, thus increasing your chances for greater success in future relationships.
Ultimately, the important thing to remember is that divorce does not automatically signify failure. Instead, it is an opportunity to regain control of your narrative so that you can build a life that is more aligned with what you want and who you want to become. Our expert family law solicitors at Grayfords are skilled at dealing with all areas of family law, including divorce, child custody, and complex financial settlements, and can help you to achieve the fresh start that you deserve. Don’t hesitate to call us today on 020 7100 6100 and book your free consultation to find out more about how we can help.