Child arrangements orders are perhaps one of the most emotionally challenging parts of a divorce or separation. It is never easy to make decisions on where your children are going to live and how much (or little) time either you or your partner will have with them after separating – especially if you are not on good terms with your child’s other parent.. Furthermore, the inherent unpredictability of court proceedings means that, in any application, the judge may not agree with you about what arrangements will be in the best interests of your children.
It is therefore essential to take the necessary steps to ensure that you are well prepared for your child arrangements order so that you stand the best chance of securing a positive outcome. In line with this, we’ve outlined below some key principles to keep in mind before pursuing a child arrangements order.
Ensuring You Have Good Motivations
All the legalities aside, it is crucial to first be sure that you understand exactly why you’re seeking a child arrangements order. Don’t hesitate to take some time to reflect on your motivations in trying to secure the arrangements that you have in mind as this will help you clarify whether they truly align with your child(ren)’s best interests. Ultimately, their wellbeing should be the utmost priority in all the decisions that you and your partner make for your child arrangements order. As such, keeping this truth at the forefront of your mind will also help you to stay focused and resilient throughout the process.
Setting Realistic Expectations
Once you’re sure of what you’re fighting for, the next important step in working towards securing a positive outcome is simply to set realistic expectations for yourself. Given that your child(ren)’s well-being is the primary focus, you may need to accept that certain compromises are necessary for them to thrive. Questions like where your child(ren) will live, which school they will go to, and how often they will see each of their parents are key matters on which to remain as objective as possible. Remember that although you may need to make some sacrifices now, these wise choices will ultimately benefit your child(ren) – and therefore you – in the long run.
Preparation and Strategy
Now to get into the nuts and bolts of how to prepare for your child arrangements order. If you want to be sure that you have the best fighting chance of securing a favourable outcome, then make sure you:
- Document Everything: Keep thorough records of all your interactions that are related to your child and the other parent, including emails, text messages, phone calls, and logs of any visits. This documentation can be invaluable when it comes to demonstrating to the court and to the judge that you are reliable and committed to your child’s well-being.
- Show A Willingness To Cooperate: Courts will favour parents who demonstrate that they are willing to work together throughout proceedings. As difficult as it may be, try to make sure that you can be cooperative with your ex for the sake of your child(ren). This might involve compromising on certain issues or perhaps being flexible with visitation schedules, but doing so (and keeping a record to prove it – see point 1) will only help to persuade the court of your commitment to your child(ren)’s wellbeing.
- Be Respectful To The Other Parent: Even if they are being difficult, you should always try to avoid using dishonest tactics or speaking ill of the other parent as not only can this backfire legally, but it will also set a poor example for your child(ren). Courts will take note of any bad behaviour and they are more appreciative of parents who maintain civility in an effort to prioritize their child(ren)’s emotional health. Try to also encourage a positive relationship between your child(ren) and the other parent (if appropriate) rather than simply not mentioning them at all.. Remember that the court’s default stance is always to assume that the child(ren) having a positive relationship with both of their parents is in their best interests.
- Prepare Your Evidence: Although it is important to be civil, there is nothing stopping you from putting forward evidence of any poor behaviour on the behalf of your ex, especially if they have a history of negative actions such as criminal activity, substance abuse, or domestic abuse. Using this evidence judiciously, while ensuring that you always remain fact based and don’t simply try to attack their character, will help further support your case. However, the flip side of this is that your own history will also be analysed in the same way, so be prepared to address anything that may come to light which could potentially have a poor impact on how the courts perceive your own character.
- Be Consistent In Your Parenting: Building on point 1, you should aim to demonstrate consistency and stability in your parenting as much as possible. Avoid rescheduling visits frequently and ensure that you are punctual and reliable in all matters relating to your child(ren). Courts will also consider whether you are mentally and physically strong enough to look after your child(ren), so don’t hesitate to do what you can to prove this. Taking these steps will only help affirm to the court that you are capable of providing a secure environment for your child(ren).
- Get Legal Representation: It is also important to consider the benefits of having a lawyer to help you craft your legal strategy for court proceedings. Although you can of course choose to self-represent, the complexities of family law require a lot of skill to effectively navigate, and you will be at a considerable disadvantage to your ex if they choose to get legal help themselves. A family law solicitor’s expertise will heavily bolster any arguments that you are wanting to make in order to protect your rights as a parent and obtain a favourable outcome. Of course, it’s important to remember that legal representation is costly so if financial constraints happen to be an issue, then don’t hesitate to seek out pro bono services or legal aid.
Final Considerations
When determining child arrangements, courts will also tend to evaluate certain key factors in particular to decide what is in the child’s best interests. For example, courts will often favour continuity of the children’s living arrangements in an effort to maintain stability for their child(ren), so if you are the primary caregiver, be sure to show evidence of this to the court. Furthermore, the ability to truly provide a nurturing and supportive environment to your child(ren) is another main focus, and this goes beyond simply being able to offer financial security. The judge will want to see proof that you have a strong and secure emotional connection with your child(ren). If they can objectively confirm this, then they will be less likely to approve any significant changes to the children’s lifestyle/routine with you which might potentially have a negative impact on the child(ren)’s mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Finally, depending on their age and maturity, their own wishes may also be considered so be prepared to actively listen to their preferences and ensure that their voice is always heard.
If you are considering a child arrangements order for an ongoing family matter or if you think you may need one imminently, then don’t hesitate to contact us on 020 7100 6100 today. Our team of expert family law solicitors have a wealth of experience in all areas of family law, including child arrangements, financial arrangements, domestic abuse and injunctions, and more. Why not book your free initial consultation today to find out more about how we can help.
